The “Bad Husband” Chronicles

Just another day for you and me in Paradise

Chapter 4

Posted by mozziestarlet on September 23, 2008

10am: The husband phones me at the office to ask if I think we “need” to pay the mortgage this month. Apparently, he’s had his eye on the comfy spot under the bridge on 7th street for quite some time now. Relocation expenses would be “really low” for us. Really!

11am: ‘Clueless VP’ rings my desk to ask me to email him the email he sent me on Monday. Any emails received from me automatically filter into his ‘deleted’ folder.

12pm: The husband phones me at the office to ask if we have any money in the bank for him to buy lunch. Balance inquiries and deposits only work from my debit card. Withdrawals work from his.

3pm: The husband phones me at the office for the third time today, obviously taking into account what projects I’m handling in the office. It’s imperative that I hear about why the economy and dollar is failing at that precise moment. An understanding of this is crucial to the success of my afternoon and evening.

6pm: I arrive home to the sparking glory of the husband’s dirty dishes from the day. The dishwasher only operates properly when I turn the knob to ‘start cycle.’

1am: I stumble blindly in the dark to use the bathroom and relieve my bladder pressure. Just a few steps closer and I’m there, only to be welcomed by the cold ‘jolt’ of the toilet rim on my butt cheeks. I mean, everyone likes a gal with rosy cheeks, right?

2 Responses to “Chapter 4”

  1. michael said

    Cheering you on! It is amazing how oblivious people can be.

    Don’t look back, and keep trudging along on your path. It does get better – eventually.

  2. Cowboy said

    Bad to the bone; get yourself free. This guy sounds like a real loser. tell him to get right or get gone!

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