The “Bad Husband” Chronicles

Just another day for you and me in Paradise

Chapter 15

Posted by mozziestarlet on October 2, 2008

10am:Clueless VP’ phones me to ask if I have a minute to come in his office and “talk.” Given that I am completely aware of his usual game strategy, I know that a “talk” with him usually results in at least ten new projects on my plate. I enter his office, offer a polite greeting and dodge the piles of three-ring binders stacked all over his floor. Apparently, the 21st century has not arrived for him yet, as he still believes printing anything and everything is the best plan of attack and organization. After sitting, I am knocked unconscious by the unmistakable smell of his fish tank. Any minute now, I expect Shamu to come busting through the wall in all her glory to perform. I find it amusing that he has such affection for the fish in his tank, but absolutely none when it comes to the people who are running his business.

11am: I scurry back to my office to begin the new list of projects that have just been assigned to me. Given that everything inevitably falls under the “Marketing” umbrella, it only makes sense that I am now handling Operations, HR and IT. First order of business wearing my new HR hat: push ‘Clueless VP’ off the nearest bridge. Time to do something for my fellow man.

12:15Clueless VP’ calls me to ask if I can email him a report that originally came from him to begin with. This event occurs at least once a week, so much so that I’ve been trying to figure out how to generate an automated reply to this weekly email request. Perhaps having him remove the filter of my messages into the ‘Trash’ folder might be a good start.

2pm:Clueless VP’ has exceeded his allowable phone calls to my office for the day and is now on my “Repeat Offender” list. It’s a total breeze to complete a list of projects by 5pm when your phone is ringing constantly. I do my best to retain my polite composure, but even ‘Clueless VP’ knows that he has overstepped his bounds. After an hour, he pops into my office and says, “I have something for you.” I steadily work to compose the absolute fear that has gripped me, not knowing what he could possibly have in the brown bag in his hands. I open the bag and inside I find a coffee mug with the words “I love you” stamped across them. He chuckles and says, “Don’t get the wrong idea or anything. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate all you’re doing here.” CLEARLY.

5pm: I leave the office for my trek home with my new coffee mug in tow. I think to myself, “Golly gee. Ain’t it swell to be loved?”

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2 Responses to “Chapter 15”

  1. Micha said

    awww you are loved 😉 That must be a perfect reason for your husband to get back into the whole “where have you really spent your time today” questioning 😀

  2. Carl Metellus said

    yeah I agree with the previous comment!!!! so how do you feel now that you know that he’s giving you all this work because he loves you. Tough love huh?

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