The “Bad Husband” Chronicles

Just another day for you and me in Paradise

We hate it when our friends become successful

Posted by mozziestarlet on November 12, 2008

Yesterday was a busy and emotionally draining day, but, I took a big step forward in the quest to reclaim my life.  My legal counsel says that given the circumstances of my case and my ‘bad’ husband, the process should be simpler and more expeditious than most.  Despite the approaching calamity, I do take comfort in that.  Thankfully, I have a sturdy umbrella of family and friends who support me in riding out the storm.

This morning, I paid a visit to my former office to sign several documents releasing my whopping two-week severance package.  The office had an eerie silence and is nearly vacant now, having laid off the majority of the people who were doing all the work.  After my obligatory meeting with HR, I begin to make my way down the hallway to the exit.  Predictably as ever, ‘Deer in headlights’ spots me and runs up to throw her unwelcomed hug around my shoulders.  She says, “OMG.  It’s SOOO good to see you!  You have no idea how much we all miss you.  How’s it going?  Good?”  I manage to repress my utter disgust with her false concern and politely respond, “Things are good.  I am hanging in there, thanks.”  She stares at me, obviously dazed and confused, expecting me to share my sob story and personal tragedy with her.  I am a private person by nature, yet despite this, I would never give her the pleasure of knowing any personal details of my life.  Even if I did tell her, she would require Cliffs Notes to decipher the meaning.

Almost to a clear getaway, ‘Old Mother Hubbard’ sees me in the hallway and rushes up to greet me.  I almost don’t recognize her at first glance.  In my absence, she has undergone an extreme makeover and looks fantastic.  I hug her and compliment her on her newly transformed look, and she smiles from ear to ear.  Bless her heart.  In her case, the lights are on, but no one’s home.  Despite this, she is a kind-hearted woman and with the help of a beautician, is now ‘Sixty and Smokin’ too.

Before departing, I peek into ‘Mack the Knife’s’ office for a surprise visit.  He is naturally happy to see me, as he is now left alone to navigate the shark-invested office waters.  We talk for a bit and he tells me, “Boy, do I have some stories to tell you.  Maybe we can meet for lunch next week?”  I graciously accept his invitation and tell him that I will be certain to bring my notepad and pen to gather writing material.  Thankfully, I am not part of that office environment anymore, however, I do keep in contact with the few there who are genuine comrades.  As Morrissey says, “Hold on to your friends.”

As I make my way to the elevator and say goodbye to my pregnant ex-coworker, ‘The Stomping Bean’ passes us in the corridor.  He has an annoyed look on his face, most likely due to my presence there, but says hello before he enters the men’s restroom.  I sigh at his blatant disrespect and predictable lack of concern on my behalf.  As I walk out to my car and into the parking lot, a particular Morrissey song springs to mind, ‘We hate it when our friends become successful.’  So, on that note, I will leave you with Mozziestar’s slightly tweaked lyrical version of this classic song.  The video posted at the end of this entry is the actual song by Morrissey.

‘We hate it when our friends become successful’ (lyrics by Mozziestar)


”We hate it when our friends become successful.
Oh, look her clothes,
Now look at her face, it’s so old,
And such a crummy blog,
Well, it’s really laughable,
Ah hahahaha…
We hate it when our friends become successful,
And if she’s southern,
That makes it even worse now.
If we can destroy her,
You bet your life we will destroy her.
If we can hurt her, well, we may as well.
It’s really laughable,
Ah hahahaha…
They say, ‘it should have been me,
It could have been me.
Everybody knows, everybody says so.’
They say, ‘Oh, she has loads of talent,
So much talent,
More talent than we can stand.

Just read her blog…’
Ah hahahaha…”

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8 Responses to “We hate it when our friends become successful”

  1. Judy said

    Hi Mozzie. Just wanted to say hello and that I keep up with your blog every day. Funny that I feel like I know you. You are such a great person!

  2. regular lout said

    Bastards didn’t even realise what a prize they had in you. Their loss, the world’s gain.

  3. SC said

    Dont forget the grass is always greener though. Its only when you take your shoes and socks off and trample in the new lawn that you know what its really like.

  4. kandy 'the rockstar' said

    I love this blog for its realness!! You blog on things that make you think, and some of us have went thru this in one way or another.

  5. Dingo Bingo said

    I just read your blog and I have to say..even though I do not know you personally…you inspire the hell out of me !!! I mean…what an incredibly wonderful person you are. All I have to say is WOW..You are are quite the lady !

  6. Jayashree Kapahi said

    Wonderful read, Mozziestar! I felt I was there with ‘old mother hubbard’ 🙂

    Its witty, evocative and very involving.

    ”They say, ‘Oh, she has loads of talent,
    So much talent,
    More talent than we can stand.” – You betcha she has!

    Rock on sistah!

  7. A day back at the office huh? Wow lol

  8. Anonymous said

    I don’t know much about your situation at home….but please….be careful…

    http://www.shakopeenews.com/news/general_news/update_maddox_planned_divorce_husband_leave_state-7605

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