Give Thanks
Posted by mozziestarlet on November 27, 2008
With tomorrow being Thanksgiving, I felt it would only be appropriate to fiddle around with the subject. I’ve always considered myself a ‘thankful’ person, often putting the needs of others before my own, and expecting little in return. I carefully remind myself daily to acknowledge the blessings I have in my life, rather than dwell on all the broken and missing pieces. Trust me, I am as human as the next person. Like you, I frequently fall into the trap of negative thinking when it seems everything is plummeting down on me at the exact same moment in time. In a sense, I’ve often viewed my life as a Shakespearean ‘Comedy of Errors,’ only no one, including me, understands the humor.
Many of you would never suspect it, but I have struggled with depression most of my life. I trace it back to around twelve years old when I first noticed it. It took several years to diagnose, and many more to successfully treat it. I have no family history of depression, no sad story of abuse or neglect, and no abandonment or desertion issues. I come from an ideal family, with loving parents married for forty years, and two of the most amazing brothers anyone could possibly ever dream of. So, what could I possibly be depressed about…especially at twelve years old?
I have spent many years of my adolescent and adult life trying to answer this question. I can hardly know if there is a ‘correct’ answer here, but I think it has to do with being more aware than the average person. If you’ve heard the expression, “Wearing your heart on your sleeve,” imagine wearing your heart, soul, hopes, and dreams in the same spot. It gets fairly crowded there and unfortunately, this unique set of attributes often makes you an unsuspecting and easy target for life’s frequent misfires. I have been nailed too many times to count. Nevertheless, I’ve learned from every wound and battle scar, even if it was often in retrospect. I believe the most valuable and precious thing I’ve learned is this…
Be thankful for the blessings in your life, whether great or small. Often the greatest gifts come in the smallest packages. Show love, kindness and gratitude to everyone, even when your gut instinct doesn’t want you to. In giving, you will receive. In loving, you will be loved. Learn from the past, but do not let it dictate the course of your future. As Thoreau said, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.” Be willing to risk in order to gain the reward. Take a leap of faith despite how firmly your feet may be planted.
After thirty-five years, I am going to attempt this for the first time in my life. I may sink or I may swim, but I will appreciate the journey and those who have brought sunshine to my pathway along the way.
Have A Wonderful Thanksgiving,
Mozziestar
Judy said
Mozzie, you continue to amaze me with your spirit and sunny attitude. I have read your posts for months and know what you must be going through. I don’t know where you find your strength but it goes to show us all the glory of the triumph of the human spirit.
Love it. Love your writing. Love you. Happy turkey day!!!
regular lout said
Ah Mozz. Such a star amidst the darkness. You shine brightly. I love you more than my favourite slippers.
Anonymous said
Mozzie. I echo your sentiments truely. Although we are new friends, I hope that you will take my words of an old one. I wish I could express that as gladly as you do, however, I am a man with not the grace or intelligence to do so. I love knowing that people who have your purpose and such words such as yours still exist……