The “Bad Husband” Chronicles

Just another day for you and me in Paradise

Making lemonade out of nothing at all

Posted by mozziestarlet on September 11, 2009

lemons

Okay okay, I know the title of this entry is a cheesy, 1980’s music reference, but sometimes a lyric not only nails a situation, but can make you chuckle as well.  And for those of you, sitting in front of your computer monitors and scratching your heads right about now, that reference was to a song by the band Air Supply.  And yes,  they do require crackers prior to listening. 😉

Many of you have written and inquired as to the lapse in my blog entries, and up until now, I really haven’t had a suitable explanation for it.  The truth of the matter is that I  love writing these entries as much as you enjoy reading them.  So, why the months of silence then?  Well, for the past six months, things in my life have sucked…and I mean, royally and equivocally.  Unemployment woes, dodging credit sharks, and dancing the ‘rob Peter to pay Paul’ tango has become a full-time occupation for me.  And to add insult to serious injury, I developed insomnia in the midst of it all.  Talk about the proverbial ‘being kicked while you’re down’!  Being sleep deprived when your stress level is growing by leaps and bounds is the cherry on top of the cake.  Sleep is my haven and my refuge, or at least it was before everything in my life began accelerating downhill, so this really hit below the belt.  During all this uncertainty and and sleep deprivation, I came to realize that I have allowed my dire circumstances to keep me from doing the things that I truly enjoy and make me happy, like writing this blog.  It’s almost as if I internalized things so much that I felt I didn’t deserve to enjoy anything.  Since everything sucks, why not just acquiesce and throw in the towel?  Why bother…right?

I’d be dishonest if I didn’t admit that I fight these thoughts about every other day.  Some days, I really allow myself to wallow in the misery of it until I’m so exhausted that I can’t think about anything anymore.  After months of behaving this way, I began to realize that the only person I’m harming is myself.  Yes, I feel like crap over all the things in my life that I wish were different and better, but what is wallowing in it going to accomplish other than making me feel worse than I already do?  Absolutely nothing.

I’m going through some difficult and heartbreaking changes in my life right now, but I will endure them.  I will come out on the other side, perhaps bruised and battered, but as a survivor.  One day, I hope to be able to look back on these times and say, ‘Wow. I can’t believe I went through what I did and lived to tell about it.’ A loved one recently said to me, “Mozzie, things are awful right now, but you will get through it and be a stronger person because of it.  These difficult struggles build character.” At first, I grimaced at this person’s remarks and thought of Morrissey’s lyrics, “How can anyone possibly say they know how I feel?” But then I took a step back, gave it some thought, and realized what this person was saying to me was right on the money.

I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I have faith in the promise of tomorrow and tomorrow’s tomorrow.  So, I’m cashing in my one-way ticket to Wallowsville and banking my frequent flier points for a destination still unknown.

“When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a squirt gun and squirt it into someone’s eye. It’ll make you feel better.”

-Anonymous

when-life-gives-you-lemons

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7 Responses to “Making lemonade out of nothing at all”

  1. Deb said

    Mozzie: I’m so glad you’re hanging in! You can’t keep a good woman down! I’m unemployed and depressed myself and I KNOW Wallowsville. You’ve inspired at least one person to get off her duff and keep on trying. Because, as you say, what’s the alternative? Love and strength (such as it is) to you.

  2. I really enjoyed your site because I am also having a rough time in my life. I thought no one would understand but your site let me see that I am not alone. Thank you for your words. If you ever thought “Does anyone even read this stuff?” or “Is it worth the effort?”, then I have to say yes.

  3. mozziestar said

    Hi Nelma,

    Thank you for your kind feedback. My purpose in creating this blog, other than maintaining my own sanity, was to share my story with others in an effort to let people know they are not alone in their struggles. I am happy to know you found comfort here.

    Take care and God bless,

    Mozziestar

  4. LetmeShare said

    Mozzie, thank you for sharing this. I take this as an inspiration as I am also an unemployed and depressed since then.

  5. Hello Mozziestar,

    I came accross one of you blogs purely by accident and your words have inspired me to do likewise ! I love the way you just write so naturally like a conversation amongst Friends. Please keep it up and could you let me know of more recent entries you have made so i can read them too . Thanks

    Om Shanti

    Evissachica1990

  6. mozziestar said

    Hi new friend,

    Thank you for your kind words and I’m thrilled to know that others are still finding and enjoying my blog after lying dormant for too many months. Since this chapter of my life ended (thankfully) several years ago, I closed the proverbial book and haven’t looked back since. Being a writer, though, the urge to share my story continues to burn in my belly and I plan on either continuing this blog in a different format or perhaps, launching a new one.

    I am so happy that my words touched you in some way, for that is the true intent of sharing my story through the written word. To laugh, to cry and to let others know that they are not alone.

    Keep shining,

    Mozziestar

  7. Hi Mozziestar,

    Thank you for your quick response “Wow ” I wasn’t expecting an instant response..When you start up a new blog please let us all know how to trace you so we can share in your life stories , I’ve only just discovered you!.

    I was inspired to start my own blog like I said and I am feeling the benefits of letting my emotions out onto electronice paper as a way of letting go of the day. I am quite a private person and when I let others into my life they are sometimes shocked by my own experiences, some times it turns out well and sometimes it has backfired on me! . We live and learn.

    Om Shanti

    Evissachica1990

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