The “Bad Husband” Chronicles

Just another day for you and me in Paradise

Can lightning strike twice?

Posted by mozziestarlet on April 30, 2013

Through the years of writing this blog, the most frequent question I am asked is “Mozzie, do you think you will ever marry again?” Naturally, I skillfully punt the ball back in the reader’s court by replying, “You’re a devoted reader of this blog. Would you?” As you can imagine, the response is about 70% to 30%, with the 30% consisting of the hopeless romantics who believe in the notion of true love and happy endings to the core of their being. Some of them comprise a lucky few who, despite enduring similar heartbreak and disappointment in their previous relationships, managed to emerge victorious in matters of the heart. They proudly wear this badge, and with vigor and determination, they feel compelled to share their triumph with the often bitter, jaded masses (myself included).

I have to admit that following the immediate aftermath of my divorce, this was the absolute last thing I wanted to hear from anyone. Countless ‘you’ll find the right one someday, so don’t give up’ emails from friends and readers, all convinced that I could, and would, love and eventually marry again. Being a kindhearted person, I always thanked them for their well wishes, but in private, I’d be busy digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands. So often I’d think to myself ‘You people have NO idea. You can’t begin to understand what I’ve been through and how I’ve been hurt. I will never marry again and subject myself to that pain and rejection. As long as I remain single, I am in control of my life. ’ And truthfully, that approach can work given one circumstance: You never fall in love again.

When it comes to relationships, whether you choose to face it or not, they all have an ultimate end in mind. Sure, you may decide like I did that dating in and of itself is the ultimate goal, but sooner or later, you’ll find yourself in a relationship where that paradigm simply doesn’t apply. You subconsciously make future plans that include that person and may even dream about your relationship ten years from now. One morning you will look yourself in the mirror completely perplexed and ask, ‘What is going on? Why am I thinking about marriage with this person? How could this happen?’ Truthfully, I couldn’t begin to answer that except to say that no one’s life is set in stone. With every day and each new experience, life is constantly evolving around us. People move in and out of our lives with seemingly little significance. But sometimes, when we’re least expecting it, someone drifts into our life who is worthy of our love, companionship and devotion.

It can happen. You can encounter a future that you never believed existed. I am discovering mine.

“Yes, life is hard. As you grow older, you’ll learn what true heart-wrenching pain feels like. You’ll realize that majority of the people you once believed in will let you down. You’ll fall in & out of things that you think are love, & it’ll hurt. There will be people out there that want to see you fall down, it might happen. But you’ll get up, fake a smile, & move on. You’ll go from being called a brat to a bitch. You’ll be pressured to do bad things. You’ll keep secrets. You will regret, but forget. You’ll be heartbroken, and break some hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend, & either keep or lose that friendship. Things will get unbearable, & you will spend a lot of time crying. You’ll miss the spirit of your innocence. You will survive though, I promise. You’ll fight on & you will live to see another day. You will find true love where you least expect it, you will be adored by many. Life will move on& you’ll realize that all the pain & confusion brought you closer to happiness.”

–  Julia Kistner

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