The “Bad Husband” Chronicles

Just another day for you and me in Paradise

Archive for the ‘creative writing’ Category

One day “goodbye” will be “farewell”

Posted by mozziestarlet on February 26, 2009

After months of anticipation on my part, the day finally arrived last Saturday for the bad husband’s departure.  He packed his things (and his bruised ego) and made his trek back to his home town.  I stopped by my home last Friday night to check on things while he was out, and for the first time in such a long time, I could see the semblance of my home beneath all the clutter and junk that I was forced to live with during our marriage.  The shadow of my once beloved solace lingered beneath the piles of boxes, and I felt giddy by the thought of actually being able to return home again.  And at 11am last Saturday morning, that’s exactly what I did.  I gathered my things from the parental units’ home where I’ve been living these past months, and headed home. 

When I arrived, there was an eerie silence in the house…a thickness that you could almost feel hanging in the air.  I gazed around and was overcome with a range of emotions.  At first, I felt such relief and excitement at the realization that I was actually going to be able to be home again; the home I worked so diligently to have and maintain all these years.  As I assessed the surroundings, I felt a horrible sinking feeling creeping up from the pit of my stomach and felt tears well up in my eyes.  Even though I had waited for this moment for months, the realization of finality swept over me like a tidal wave.  I cried for about an hour, realizing later that this was and is simply part of the process of grief, acceptance, and ultimately, recovery.  Despite how nonchalant my tone may appear at times throughout the blog, don’t let it fool you.  Divorce is a horribly gutting experience and one that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.  And if you’re like me, prone to wear your heart on your sleeve, the experience affects you even more so than the ‘Average Joe’ who may think of divorce as an ‘easy’ solution to a seemingly insurmountable problem.  Solution?  Sometimes.  Easy?  Not hardly.

So, for the past four days and with the unbelievable help and support of my family, I’ve moved back not just into my house, but my home.  As the old proverb says, “Home is where the heart is.”  I couldn’t agree more.

“Always be careful when you abuse the one you love
the hour or the day no one can tell
but one day ‘goodbye’ will be ‘farewell’…”

 – Morrissey

dorothy_toto_tara

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Poll position

Posted by mozziestarlet on February 19, 2009

pole20position3

Okay readers, here’s your chance to have your say in the future of the ‘Bad Husband’ Chronicles blog.  So, please vote in the poll and let me know what you’re thinking.  Should I stay or should I go now?  Don’t fret, I’m fairly thick-skinned and can handle rejection. *boo hoo*

Feel free to leave any comments, suggestions or ideas on the direction you’d like (or not) to see the blog take in the future.  Thank you for your feedback, and as always, your faithful readership.

Keep shining,

Mozziestar

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No patience for ‘the patient’

Posted by mozziestarlet on February 18, 2009

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the diminishing days remaining until the ex-husband is forced to move out of my house.  Knowing this man and his predictable behavior all too well, I’ve been expecting last minute shenanigans on his part to make his final departure as much as an ordeal for me as possible.  What you have to understand about the ex-husband is that he is the most incapable, or rather, unwilling individual when it comes to taking care of his own business.  He lacks the common sense that most of us take for granted, and he fully capitalizes on it by insisting that he ‘can’t’ do this and ‘can’t’ do that.  That’s been the case since the day we were married…. Mr. Can’t Never Could.  So, I always ended up being the one to take care of everything from paying the bills to getting the groceries.  He was even too lazy to learn how to access his checking account or get simple directions for a doctor’s appointment.  It was always, “Babe, can you do this for me?  You’re so smart and can do it so much faster than I can.”  Blah, blah, blah.   Dealing with his nonsense has been the most annoying and trying thing for me, but I remind myself that it will soon be over and any effort made on my part will ultimately result in his faster departure. 

The simple act of his leaving has been a major hassle for me.  I’ve been the one scheduling his moving arrangements, giving him money for the trip home, and reminding him of all the things I know he hasn’t bothered to think about.  Now his latest predicament is that he “just can’t get everything loaded and ready to move until Saturday,” and given that he’s ordered to be out by Friday, he’ll “have to sleep in his car on Friday night.”  Well, boo hoo.  I must tell you that the ex-husband’s mastery of the art of playing ‘the patient’ should earn him an Academy Award.  When I use the description ‘the patient,’ I mean to say that he always insists on being the one who requires constant help and support from the wiser and more knowledgeable, ‘doctor.’  He’s always the weaker party; the patient that must have his hand held through every trial he faces.  Truly, it’s not only nauseating, but ridiculous.  To think that this man has made it nearly 47 years playing this act astounds me.  Will he ever face his responsibilities and handle things himself or will he simply find another ‘doctor’ to treat his unfortunate shortcomings?

Ugh.  Who knows and frankly, who cares?  I certainly don’t.  The only dose I’m willing to give my ex-husband, the eternal patient,  is a large shot of reality.  So, ex-husband…suit up, stick your arm out, and get ready to be stuck.  This doc is through making house calls.

h61 

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Last night I dreamt that somebody shoved me

Posted by mozziestarlet on February 17, 2009

shove-on

As readers of the blog, you are all aware that I typically have the most bizarre and vivid dreams during the few hours of actual sleep I enjoy each night.  Usually, I awake to a sheet storm of twisted blankets, misplaced pillows and the ever-creeping comforter at the   foot of the bed.  I’m often amused by the seemingly random nature of my dreams and their possible meanings, so I consult my Dream Dictonary Doctors at www.dreammoods.com for further clarification and interpretation.  Last night, I had another doozie of a dream, where the now EX-husband was pushing and shoving me, mumbling and stumbling not-so-nice words in my general direction.   Given that he is down to his final week of living in my home before he’s given the boot once and for all, I suppose I’m harboring a lot of feelings of uncertainty and general anxiety about it.  Will he leave quietly and peacefully or will he pull his usual ‘I’m the victim’ dance and try and harass me as much as possible before his time runs out?  Given my experience with him over the past seven years, I think the latter is most likely.

So, what does all this pushing and shoving signify, oh great and powerful dream wizards?  Hmm, let’s see…

“Push”
To dream that you are pushing something, symbolizes energy, effort, encouragement and a new drive to succeed in life. Consider also how you are someone in your life may be a ‘pushover.’

To dream that you are pushed or being pushed, signifies that you are being pressure or feel coerced into doing something. Alternatively, it implies your need for perfection. You may be finding that you do not have enough time to complete a task.

Naturally, after reading this, I reflect on what the Dream Dictionary Doctors might say in response to my latest doozie:

“Dear troubled, yet ever faithful, Mozzie,

Thank you once AGAIN for consulting The Dream Dictionary for further clarification of your latest slumber-ific experience.  Upon first analysis, we were hoping that the person being shoved in your dream would be your ridiculuous excuse of an ex-husband and not yourself.  When are you going to stand firm and realize that you have no reasonable excuse for feeling worthy of being mistreated?  Until you come to this realization, there is little we can do to assist you further.  We appreciate your CONTINUED visits to our website, but for heaven’s sake…get a clue, will ya?  And as always, we keep an immediate refferral on file on your behalf to the nearest mental health facility.  Best wishes for your new life’s adventure, The Dream Dictionary Doctors.”

*SIGH*

gwhn78l1

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“The past isn’t dead. It isn’t even past.”

Posted by mozziestarlet on February 10, 2009

I’ve always had a particular affinity for this quote by William Faulkner, often finding myself amazed by the truthful simplicity of it. Like many of you, I’ve spent a considerable portion of my adult life being a prisoner of the past, frequently feeling stuck between something and nothing. Have you ever wondered why the memories you yearn to recall seem distant, yet the ones that you struggle to forget always seem to be top of mind? Perhaps, it is the pain that is associated with these memories that makes them so difficult to forget? So often, I joke that if I could just have a lobotomy to remove all of the unpleasant memories and experiences I’ve endured in my life, I’d be ‘okay.’ What I’ve come to realize through my journey is that experiences, both good and bad, shape the person that we are. Without these, I wouldn’t have the clarity that I have now or the direction for my future happiness. I suppose that sometimes, we have to lose in order to gain insight, understanding, and ultimately, contentment.

So, what got me thinking along these lines today? Well, I was surfing Facebook this morning and stumbled upon ex-husband #1’s profile. Granted, it has been eight years since our divorce and we have both gone on to live our separate lives. I found myself browsing his photos, many of him and his new wife traveling the world’s finest cities, and I started to reflect on the life we once shared. He obviously is happy now and found whatever it was that he was searching for and felt he lacked during our marriage. I thought about how much I tried and how many sacrifices I made to be a wonderful wife to him through those years. Why wasn’t it enough to sustain his love and commitment? Is it possible for one person to seem right for you, but for you to be the wrong choice for them? It’s matters like these that make love and marriage such a three dimensional concept. You may love someone, and they may love you back, but there is always that third element of uncertainty looming above you. Will your love sustain the test of time or will it one day be deemed ‘disposable’ by one of the parties involved?

I haven’t begun to find the answers to questions like these, and quite honestly, probably never will to my own satisfaction. I suppose, in one regard, I am happy that he has found contentment in his life. But, being completely human and fallible, I do feel a twinge of resentment. I resent that he gave up on us. I resent that he not only discarded our memories, but went on to replace them with new ones. I realize this is part of life’s natural progression, and that in time, I too will do the same. But at present, past memories, both buried and those at the surface, seem to haunt me with endless regret. Even though I accept my life’s winding road with all its twisted diversions, I do get weary from the travel. Sometimes, I just wish that my path was straight and narrow, with a tangible destination in mind; an end goal to serve some greater purpose. That way, one day I can look back in retrospect and say, “Oh, now I understand why that happened to me.” Until then, I’ll continue on life’s journey and hope that a little understanding will come with each new day.

 

As Robert Frost so eloquently wrote in 1920:

 “I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

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25 Random and nonsensical things

Posted by mozziestarlet on February 3, 2009

1.  I’ve always been in love with new school supplies.  Every Fall, I buy a new collection of glitter pens, smelly markers and notebooks.  This year I bought a hot pink Trapper Keeper.

2.  When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be a geneticist.

3.  I first realized I was a writer when I was eight years-old.  I wrote a novelette entitled “Savannah” when I was eleven years-old.

4.  I have a habit of  nicknaming those close to my heart and rarely call them by their ‘real’ names.

5.  I was on a clogging team until I was thirteen years-old.  Look out Michael Flatley!  Inevitably, it was having to dance to country music routines that diminished my interest.  

6.  I have loved dogs all of my life, but didn’t actually own one until I was eighteen years-old.  He was a mutt I named Sambo.

7.  There was only one true thing I wanted from my life growing up:  a family and children of my own.  I’m nearly 36, have been married and divorced twice, and have no children.  My older brother, who vowed a childless life of bachelorhood in high school, is happily married with five little ones.

8.  My pantry is stocked with sugar-coated cereals.  Captain Crunch with Crunchberries is my favorite.

9.  There are no movies in my DVD collection which pre-date 1980.

10.  I carry a Barbie lunch box to work every day.

11.  On the Myers-Briggs personality inventory, I am an INTJ, with the highest percentage in the “I (Introvert)” category.  Out of 100%, I scored 89% as an introvert.  This baffles nearly everyone who knows me.

12.  I have two true loves in my life:  my 11 year-old Cockapoo and Morrissey.  I first heard Morrissey in 1988 and have spent 21 years on his trail.  Both inspire me on a daily basis.

13.  I watch very little TV and usually only tune-in for Nip/Tuck every Tuesday night.  I have no explanation as to why I love this program, given that it represents much of what I detest in life.

14.   My hair has been nearly every color with the exception of black.  I am a natural blonde.

15.  My parents have been happily married for forty years.  In all honesty, I have never been.  My parents decided when we were born to call each other “Mama and Daddy” rather than refer to one another by their first names.  Even though we are all grown adults now, they still call each other this despite whether we are around or not.

16.  I know very little modern music and fluctuate between two channels on XM Radio:  the 80s and classic alternative.

17.  My favorite movie is “Somewhere in Time” (1980).  I’ve watched it hundreds of times, but sob like a girl each and every time.

18.  I detest baked beans, English peas and sweet potatoes.  Even as a baby, Mom couldn’t get me to digest these.

19.  I’m a bit of a clean freak.  I take two showers every day.

20.   I am the nicest person you will ever know with the most sarcastic sense of humor.

21.  I have travelled throughout the United States, but the one place I long to visit the most is somewhere I’ve never been:  England.

22.  I am far from a ‘girly girl,’ but I adore gemstones.  I have a large collection of stones in nearly every color.

23.  I always keep my nails manicured.  I’ve found that despite how lousy you may feel, having your nails done always makes you feel like a lady.

24.  I fall into the less than 10% of people who actually work within their college major.

25.  My favorite alcoholic drink is a Bass Pale Ale.  I’d rather have a cold draft beer more than any other tody.  My staple is milk.  It does the body good.

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The rise and fall of D-day

Posted by mozziestarlet on January 30, 2009

So, are you curious to know how things turned out as the next chapter of Mozziestar’s life unfolds?  Well, sometimes, words aren’t even required…

 

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Trouble loves me

Posted by mozziestarlet on December 5, 2008

Phew, what a crazy couple of days it has been at Mozzie’s pad.  Needless to say, informing the husband of filing the ‘D’ papers didn’t go over very well.  After four hours of what amounted to a one-sided lecture (from him to me), I managed to escape somewhat unscathed to the parental units for rest, reflection and a lot of TLC.  Just what the doctor ordered.  The most frustrating aspect of talking with a non-listener is trying to reason logically to them.  This is about as futile an effort as trying to solve the current economic crisis over night.  When things ‘go bad’ in a situation, it usually didn’t happen in 24 hours.  Typically, there is so much that led up to the event, so many little things which at the time didn’t seem insurmountable.  The problem with this is that eventually all of the little things add up into an incredible stack of teetering dominos.  If you stack the pile high enough, all it takes is one more domino on the top of the pile to send the whole mess tumbling down.  My situation with the husband is no exception to this analogy.

Being such a compassionate person makes the situation doubly difficult.  You see, when your life is a mess, it doesn’t just affect you.  It affects your parents, your immediate family, your friends, and even your sweet little snaggle-toothed puppy.  All who love you feel the heat and often get burned from it.  Divorce doesn’t just ‘happen’ to you.  The collateral damage ripples out to all who love you as well.  This is the worst part of it all and makes you feel like the lousiest person in the world for being so stupid.

 

Nevertheless, my situation is what it is and I am doing my best to take one day at a time.  I am thankful for my family and for always having a few people who I know I can depend on, despite my circumstances.  I am also grateful that once I removed my rose-colored glasses and saw the husband for exactly who and what he is, I found the courage to say, “No, this isn’t ok to live like this.  I deserve better.  I’d rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong ones.”  This is how I feel and ultimately, I know it is a good thing.  Yes, I’m terrified of the notion of facing the unknown yet again in my life, but the unknown is better than living a life beneath your standards.  You must accept responsibility for your own actions and misfortunes, but you have to forgive yourself sometimes for being human and making mistakes.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.”  I’d like to ‘high five’ Emerson for that one.  He certainly knew what he was talking about.  So, the moral of the story is: “Acknowledge, move on.”  Own up to your circumstances, mistakes and disappointments, but move on to the next phase in your life.  Don’t let your past dictate the course of your future.

I will leave you with the incredible lyrics of Martin Gore: “You’ve got to move on sometime, and it’s about time, by putting one foot in front of the other and repeating the process.”

Twinkle, Twinkle,
Mozziestar

 

 

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Update

Posted by mozziestarlet on December 4, 2008

Dear friends,

I am currently staying with my parents and am safe.  So many of you have emailed with your concerns since my last post.  I will return later with today’s entry.

Thank you and God Bless all of you,

Mozziestar

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There’s gonna be some trouble. A whole house will need rebuilding.

Posted by mozziestarlet on December 1, 2008

There is sufficient trouble brewing at home right now.  I finally understand the notion of ‘the calm before the storm.’  Ever since I informed the husband of my intent to divorce him, he has been unusually silent towards me.  At first, I thought the silence was just a manifestation of his hurt, disappointment and loss.  Obviously, I feel it too…deeply.  However, I noticed this morning before he left the house that he would not give me any eye contact.  When I asked him what was wrong, he replied, “We need to talk later.”  Naturally, I was left feeling very concerned and almost threatened.  Immediately, the words of my attorney sprung to mind when she told me, “You need to have him removed from your home before he becomes resentful or paranoid.  I know you may think this wouldn’t happen, but it almost always does.  Every person has a breaking point.”

 

After this morning’s bizarre interaction with him, I’ve realized that my attorney’s comments were very insightful, almost foreshadowing events yet to come in my life.  After he left this morning, I talked with my Mom about what had transpired.  She and the rest of my poor, sweet family are worried sick that he might do something harmful towards me.  So, I decided to be proactive and talk to the police about my concerns.  I was a bit stunned with what they told me.  They said, “Unless he has outright threatened to kill you or hit you, raised his hand to you, etc., there isn’t anything we can do.  If he does anything of this nature, dial 911 and we will dispatch an officer to your home and file a report.”  Something is terribly wrong with our legal system in the U.S. if you have to wait until your spouse strikes you or verbally expresses his intent to harm you before any action takes place to protect you.  It’s really no surprise that women are killed each day by their husbands, ex-husbands, and boyfriends.  No one takes them seriously until after they are attacked, abused or even murdered.  Does the system not realize that if a woman feels her safety has been comprised, she is not ‘crying wolf?’ 

 

I waited for several hours before phoning the husband at work to try and gain some insight into what is going on in his bewildered, paranoid mind.  He alluded to noticing ‘changes in my behavior recently,’ which amounted to me talking on my cell phone more than I normally do and staying up later on the phone with friends and/or family members.  Mind you, this is nothing new.  I’ve always kept in touch with my family each day, especially since these events began to unfold.  I began using my cell phone when talking to them simply because I knew he could easily pick up the other receiver on our home phone and listen to my private conversations.  Several weeks ago, I had interference on my home phone line due to not having a filter on my DSL, and used my cell phone at home until the problem could be rectified.  When I let the dog out one evening before bed, I was talking to my Mom on my cell outside while the dog was tending to his business.  When I returned inside, the husband accused me of having a secret affair or talking to someone behind his back.  I realized then that attempting to reason with him was completely futile.

 

So now, I’m frazzled and anxious, not knowing what to expect when he returns home.  He has always pledged that he would never harm me, but feeling betrayed and abandoned hits home for him.  Somehow, he feels that is what I’m doing to him…just another woman in his life that has broken a promise to him.  He accepts no blame or fault from his own actions or lack thereof, but only sees himself as the eternal ‘victim’ of life’s cruel circumstances.  This is a dangerous perspective for anyone, particularly him.

 

I will be careful tonight and in the coming days, cautious and astutely aware of his comments, body language and subtle innuendos.  It’s like my attorney said, “Everyone has a breaking point.  Losing someone like you could be his.”

impending-storm1

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There speaks a true friend

Posted by mozziestarlet on November 30, 2008

Right, so I was having a conversation last night with a friend who informed me that men and women inherently can’t ‘just be friends.’  He was alluding to the idea that encapsulated the movie, ‘When Harry Met Sally,’ and that every man wants to be intimate with a woman he finds attractive.  Below is a snippet of that conversation from the movie… 

 

Harry Burns: “You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I’m saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail ’em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don’t want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That’s too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.”

 

 

So, it really got my mind reeling at this notion, mainly because I’ve typically had more male friends than female in my life, and I haven’t had sex with any of them.  What I’m wondering is:  Am I an exception to the rule?  Do members of the opposite sex befriend you with the subconscious agenda that they will eventually be intimate with you?  I can’t help but beg to differ here. 

 

My BFF of over 11 years now is male and we’ve never been even remotely romantic with one another.  I know what you’re thinking: “Is he ugly?  Are you?”  I can say that he’s absolutely adorable and very easy on the eyes.  As far as I’m concerned, I’ve been told I’m ‘pretty’ many times, so I’m willing to give that assessment the benefit of the doubt.  So, why haven’t we been romantically involved?  I think it’s a fairly simple answer.  We both value our friendship above anything else and hold it in very high esteem.  I can’t help but quote Morrissey here, “Is it really so strange?”

 

What I find particularly amusing about this scenario is how much this frustrates other women.  If I am friends with ‘their man,’ they automatically assume that I have romantic intentions towards him and want him for my own.  The female can even be sitting with us as we talk and hear our conversation, and yet, she is still inclined to be jealous of me.  Why is this?  What in the world is there to be jealous of in having or discovering a new friend?  Should it matter whether they have male or female private parts in order to establish a connection with them?  I really do wish I could answer this question, as it always seems to be a reoccurring issue for me.

 

Perhaps I’m too rudimentary in my thinking.  I subscribe to the basic notion that Thoreau wrote of in the late 1800s.  He said, “A friend is a person before whom I may think aloud.”  That’s the beautiful and simple truth in my mind.  Friendship is entirely different than romantic attachment.  I can only hope that others might eventually feel this way and shelve their feelings of jealousy, skepticism and insecurity.  Lighten up…take a chill pill…It’s all good!  How could it be anything but that?

 

“The Dummy” by Michael Mack

In that forgotten part of town
Where wasted hopes and dreams abound,
A wrinkled man with life near end,
In hopes to have at least one friend,
Fashioned bits of wood and things
And made a dummy run by strings.

He sat alone for hours on end,
Conversing with his only friend
And found delight within the fact
That he controlled it’s every act.
He told it how he never had
A chance, since all his luck was bad
Although he’d tried so to succeed –
The dummy nodded and agreed.
And how his journeys in romance
Had never given him a chance,
And wasn’t it a crying shame
That he was always held to blame
When everyone knew, oh so well,
That life is but a living Hell,
Controlled by lust and power and greed?
The dummy nodded and agreed.
With patience that would rival saints,
That dummy sat through all complaints
And, with each little expert tug,
He’d droop his head or bow or shrug
And give some comfort to the man
Who held his lifelines in his hand
And helped to fill a lonely need
When he just nodded and agreed.
Senility increased with time
As did the old man’s phantomime,
And feverish fingers pulled with glee
The dummy’s dance of misery.
They never left each other’s side
Until the day both stopped and died.
We found them lying, hand in hand,
The dummy – and his wooden friend.

friendship_is_light

Posted in "Bad Husband" Chronicles, Bad boss, Bad Husband, bad marriage, bad spouse, children, co-workers, Comic Wit, creative writing, death, Difficult Spouse, Divorce, Dogs, family, friendship, Funny, Humor, Irony, kindness, laughter, Life, loss of parent, loss of spouse, Love, Marriage, marriage problems, Morrissey, Office drama, office humor, office politics, Pets, poetry, relationships, sarcasm, Spouse, wives | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Search Engine Optimization? mmmkay.

Posted by mozziestarlet on November 29, 2008

As the creator and administrator of this blog, I am able to view the ‘search terms’ that lead people to my site.  I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I can’t help myself.  And people say I’m the ‘crazy’ one, huh?  At least I know I’m not alone! 

“And if I seem a little strange, well that’s because I am.”  (Morrissey)

 

Top Search Engine Terms for The “Bad Husband” Chronicles:

 

Bad Husband Chronicles

I have been a bad husband

Magic potion for bad husband

Being so far from your friends, and you’re all alone

Poems about husband’s boss

How to make an Alabama Slammer

Burn down office without getting caught

TGIF quotes

Hilarious email

Alcoholic husband has a bad odor

My husband and his co-worker are too close

Don’t forget the lyrics

My dog eats poop

I want a magic carpet

Go sell crazy somewhere else

How to make someone realize that her husband is an ass

Slipping husband Xanax

Bad marriage

How do I make my marriage right after years of it being wrong?

Electric blanket and diarrhea

 

crazy-doesn-t-cover-it-posters

Posted in "Bad Husband" Chronicles, Bad boss, Bad Husband, bad marriage, bad spouse, children, co-workers, Comic Wit, creative writing, death, Difficult Spouse, Divorce, Dogs, family, friendship, Funny, Humor, Irony, kindness, laughter, Life, loss of parent, loss of spouse, Love, Marriage, marriage problems, Morrissey, Office drama, office humor, office politics, Pets, poetry, relationships, sarcasm, Spouse, wives | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Mozziestar Flashback Entry: Senior year of high school, 1991

Posted by mozziestarlet on November 29, 2008

senior-notebook

I found this relic in my English notebook from high school.  I don’t know why, but I find it so amusing.  The irony is that I am still the same girl, just older and hopefully, wiser now.  Enjoy…

 

5-21-91: “Assignment: What are some thorns in your side?”

Well, this should be an interesting assignment given that I’ve always considered myself to be ‘the girl with a thorn in her side.’  Here are just a few of the things that come to mind that truly bug me:

1. People

2. Myself

3. Noise

4. Dishonesty

5. Cruelty

6. Stupidity

7. No milk for breakfast

8. Sunshine in my bedroom at 7am on Saturday AND Sunday mornings

9. Betrayal

10. Accounting class

11. Country music

12. Obscenity

13. Rudeness

14. No clean underwear

15. Alarm clocks

16. Humid days

17. School

18. Life

19. Death

20. Women (come on, tell me I’m wrong!)

21. The forever ‘missing’ other sock

22. Toxic waste

23. Not enough time or paper to finish this list

Posted in "Bad Husband" Chronicles, Bad boss, Bad Husband, bad marriage, bad spouse, children, co-workers, Comic Wit, creative writing, death, Difficult Spouse, Divorce, Dogs, family, friendship, Funny, Humor, Irony, kindness, laughter, Life, loss of parent, loss of spouse, Love, Marriage, marriage problems, Morrissey, Office drama, office humor, office politics, Pets, poetry, relationships, sarcasm, Spouse, wives | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »